Friday, 25 October 2013

True Life Story: Sex With My Husband Is Now Very Irritating.

This is a TrueLife Story It really speaks volume, what is your  best Advise for her
I used to be a happily married woman. But many things have changed. My husband is no longer the man I got married to with so much joy, laughter and dancing.
We have been married for 10yrs now, during which I stopped going out and cut off my friends. All I do is work, clean, children, shop and sleep. In this 10yrs, my husband has lived like a bachelor.

At first, I fought him for this because I wanted attention and to be loved but with time I withdrew emotionally and this got to the bedroom.

Things got so bad that I feel like crying whenever he wants to have sex with me because it would be brutal, as if it’s a blue film. We dont do it often, but whenever he wants it, the thought of having sex with him was very irritating.

However, irrespective of my feelings, for peace sake, I’d do it sometimes he will be half drunk. Despite my efforts to endure all these, he would insult me, beat me, even in front of my mum on several occasions. But I endured because as a father to my 4 young children he is father of the century so I kept saying it will be selfish for me to leave the marriage. The kids need their daddy because he is a good father but I don’t want him because he is not a good husband, he doesn’t satisfy me in anyway… either in the bedroom or other dealings as couple. But I kept putting my kids needs first, to my own detriment.

The issue is…… when I celebrated my 40th birthday, my husband did not really care or plan to take me anywhere which did not bother me. Over the years, I have learnt to start focusing my joy on other things so I have been really happy. On the weekend of my birthday, a male colleague at work invited me to lunch as a birthday treat and also thank me for being there when he was going through his divorce. So I asked my husband if it was okay to go since this was on Saturday. He said its fine becos he knew the man and knows the guy was just a friend, so for the first time of my 10yrs marriage, I went out.

Surprising, when I came back, he started calling me all kinds of names. I was shocked because he had never been that jealous – becos he believed no man was going to be interested in me as I have stopped taking care of myself. That nite he beat me up mercilessly and I decided enough was enough! That day I moved out of the house. He never believed I could do that because he knew how much I loved my kids….. but to his greatest shock I did it. It’s been 5 months now since I left, and I can say my life has changed. I get help financially from family. But sadly, life for him has been miserable without a partner, a companion.

Now he too is crying everyday that he wants me to come back home. The kids want us to come back together. Strangely, now that I’m not even living with him, I see him more. He stopped going out and wants to spend all his spare time with me.

Am confused because I kind of love my life right now; other ‘good’ men are already showing interest in me. I’m missing sex so so much and anything can happen. I am still young and very sexy. I know am not a saint in all these because I am stubborn with a bad mouth sometimes.  Please I want peoples views on this.
Give me your candid opinion. How can I go back to a man who makes love to me violently? I still feel irritated sometimes whenever I imagine him on me. Why cant I just remain a single mother?


  1. My dear, no one can truly make you happy than yourself. When you have this in mind you will find it easy to handle and hurt.

  2. Depending on your view on marriage, because for me, there's no going back on the vows. Maybe what you needed was just to make him need you & miss always having you there and since that has been accomplished, its time to go back home & make things work.

  3. Though he is your husband, you still need to commit everything into the hands of God so He can direct you appropriately, wish you well

  4. God never condone divorce and your happiness can only be created by you alone,the interest will dwindle soon from your admirers my sister. Talk to your husband and set perimeters and be ready to measure his actions based on this perimeters.


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