Thursday, 31 October 2013

Straight Talk: Does Anything Justify Domestic Violence?

How are y'all doing? Yes, I've been MIA for today, I have no excuses!! You know how it gets sometimes. So how have you been? Getting ready for the last working day of the week? I was searching through the Internet and I came across this old interview of Frank Edoho 'Who Wants To be a milloinaire's host' and his ex wife Katherine, whom were both married at the time. It just makes me feel sad how some marriages turn out, and how the domestic violence against women does not exempt people in the social circles and how been educated or sophisticated does not cover up a person's traits and characters. I am no body to judge but does anything justifies raising hands against a woman? Knowing quiet well she can never win even if she fights back? Does it ever make a wrong right?

Please Read with an open mind....

What's the cause of the problems in your marriage? 
Frank "I noticed that all my wife's friends are single girls. I told her that I prefer her having married women as her friends. You can always sit back and talk about your husbands and children. Single women only talk about their boyfriends, how they change this boyfriend to another. So I put my foot down, 'No more single girls'. She got annoyed and started making moves to leave the house. I'm telling it to all married women now, don't have a single girl as a friend. Instead of me tolerating her with single girls, we will divorce. I prefer her married friends gossiping about me than single girls praising me because they are single and they have a plan. I just hope that God gives her the insight to know that her single friends are trying to ruin her, so that they can move into my house, but that can never happen"
What do you wish for this marriage?
Frank "A happy marriage, but all these her single friends are influencing her and I'm still warning them. Stay the hell away from my family. I'm warning these single women and you guys are living witness"

So to Frank the wife's unmarried friends played a major part in their problems.....hmmm

Katherine's Side

You courted each other for close to five years, did you notice any trace of swiftness to anger in him in those days?
Katherine "No. You could see snippets of temper then, but that's where it ends. Do you think if I had seen this I would have entered? He is a generous man but because he is generous does not mean he would beat everything he has given me?"
So, what actually caused this last beating?"He said I wanted to run away with his kids. I told him I wanted to travel so that we could take a break a little. I told him I was traveling to Brazil because I didn't want him to trace my whereabouts until after one week. Perhaps he would have enough time to calm down. I was expecting him to sit me down and ask "Why Brazil?" instead he started shouting, saying I want to take his kids from him. He got violently physical, he took my box from me. I travelled without anything. He trailed me to the airport to beg me and I said "Don't come near me, you cannot be a mad man in the morning, and you are sane in the afternoon. He was coming close to me, I was moving back. He said why are you moving back? I said you are asking me? Do I know the next thing you would do here?" Then, I was bleeding, because he pushed me and I cut my leg somewhere. I was not supposed to travel with our son, because he was dragging him with me. I started crying, telling the cabin members not to leave me behind. So I was running and putting pressure on my leg and bleeding the more. When I came back, I told my younger brother "Please, the kind of beating they gave me before I travelled, I cannot take it two times. Help me to come and pack my belongings, just your presence alone...if you don't come with me, I'll take police to go and pack my things from the house because I need peace. For now, I cannot have it at home. When we reached home, my son said "Mummy, didnt daddy say you should not come back to the house?"In the course of those beatings, have you ever retaliated physically?"It's instinctive, I grew up with boys. Somehow I'll fight back or push, but you can't compare a woman's strenght to that of a man. The last beating was something else. I was busy dodging my eyes because Frank punched me as if he was fighting with his fellow man. For many days I couldn't make use of my left eye. I wore glasses throughout my stay in Cameroun. I kept crying and shouting "my mummy o". The headache? It was migrain times ten."

Frank also said he doesn't like you mingling with unmarried women, don't you think he has a point?"
"Like what? I only have two unmarried friends. One is my brother's fiancee, the other is Thelma, my colleague in NTA."

"Whats the reason he gives for not wanting Thelma by your side?"
"He says he doesn't like her aura, and I tell him I don't like your PA's aura too. I dont evidence against his PA, but there is something about him that is not just right. I am perceptive. There is something about that guy that is not quite right."

But the bible says women should submit to their husbands. If you do away with these single women, dont you think there will be peace in your home?
"I just told you that the last time he beat me was because we were supposed to meet somewhere at a particular time. I was delayed somehow, so when I got to a place, I didn't see him. He later called me and said "where are you" I said I was at home. He said, "Liar". I told him I went for salsa that I had gone home. He didn't believe me. Now, what has single girls got to do with that?. I don't involve my friends in anything about my home. I've left home, I paid for a place I wouldn't want disclosed. He sees the kids in their school."

What do you think would serve as a solution to all these?
"He's making a move for reconciliation (shows this reporter two different text messages from Frank) "I apologise for having slapped you, I really admit that what I did was beastly. But please come back, I've learnt my lesson". My sister, it's not coming back, it's how do we stop that?"

It's been years since this interview, they have both moved on. Frank has re-married while Katherine who was a presenter on NTA AM Express breakfast show too has found love elsewhere. It just beats me when I read it and I thought to share so we can take a cue from such experiences. 

1 comment:

  1. Absolutely nothing Sassy. I am a guy and I have experienced situations with women that was worth kicking if possible because some women can provoke you to hell. But a guy should always be guy and be calm. There are better ways to address issues with a woman.


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